2020 was a difficult year, We are invited to spend most of our time at home, close to our partner and our families. A lot of people found really difficult to cope with these changes. According to recent studies many couples asked for marital support from therapist. Couple therapy is really important because we have chosen a person that we want to spend our life with and we demand a lot of things from them.
Communication is really important in between couples because with that they share their emotions/feelings, they express their needs and they try to solve their problems. Sometimes communication is not so easy and most of the people are frustrated. If this lack of understanding and communication continuous for a long period of time, couples are getting tired and maybe one of the members or both of them will grow spousal depression. A common condition arising from a long period of marriage dissatisfaction. But how can we be sure that the couple has a good communication? Here are a few mistakes that a lot of couples are doing while they are trying to communicate.
The use of abstract messages. Couples have the need to express their feelings, needs, problems but sometimes they are using abstract words as a result the receiver of the message has difficulties to understand the correct meaning. So the message shouldn't be vague but as specific as possible.
Use of irony, sarcastic words, criticising the other person shows lack of respect which means that the receiver of the message not only is not paying attention in what is being said but also is making the environment really intense.
Other situations that worsen communication is the interference of the environment, for example often the family influences the one partner and this can cause extreme polarisation in between the couple. Another example is the fatigue, if one partner is really tired and wants to sleep and the other is trying to elaborate over a situation, this will not have good outcomes and the problem won't be solved.
So, the dissatisfaction in between couples can arise from the communication problems that they will probably face. How can this be repaired? It is important for the couple to check if the message they send is well received from the person. So when one is talking the other is only trying to listen and understand. Another step is the clear communication, in that case the partner is trying not to use sarcasm or irony but they express themselves focusing on the message they want to send. While communicating the couple is not suppose to fight over who is better or who has the power but they should focus on the proper transfer of the message.
Couples are a team that share almost everything and that is a big challenge as the two partners are two different people that are raised in different families. The most important thing is to use dialog in order to reduce these differences between them.